Post Over Toast

Well, cereal bar actually, but you get the picture. (But if you don't here's another fun detail: it just went inexplicably skipping out of my lap and into my purse. I cannot command even the more innocuous forms of breakfast food.)

So now we get to the actual matter of the post, and I find I have no idea what to write about. Now that I have two blogs, one for me that does not come up on search engines and is basically a place to post random crap I find interesting (Getting Ready to Go "Bowling") and one with these bozos, I find my standard "blog topics" stretched pretty thin.

For example, on a normal day over on my other blog (which, granted, I've had for a month but that's beside the point), I would most likely post something like this:



May 01

The Pear of Anguish. As if the actual implement wasn't freaky enough, the google ad that popped up for me reads, "Get to Know Your Vagina!"

(Click on pic for story.)




And that would be that. Simple, effective, completely without obligation. I know nobody is going to read this, and, if in the very-slim-but-certainly-possible-chance somebody types http://jordymike.tumblr.com/ into their address bar, or Tumblr decided to feature me on their front page, I have something interesting presented, along with a clever comment. I look like I have unique interests and a keen sense of sardonic humor. I present myself as someone you'd seek out at parties, practically brimming with witticisms and social commentary. And, really, isn't that what blogging's all about?

This blog, however, is another matter.

I got an audience now, an audience I know. Who knows I'm very boring at parties, who knows that, while I might have unique interests (perhaps a little too unique sometimes...) I'm not as cool and collected as any blog, in any form--by its nature--would present me. Blogs have the tendency to make you look more awesome than you are in real life, and this is something I have decided to put a stop to.

So here, my beloved bloggers, is a list of Real Life Facts, Completely Unedited, so that I may counteract the effects of blogging and present an unbiased, more balanced view of my very very cool-seeming persona:

1. The last 21 bookmarks I made link me to various portions of this site. (Except for the random pic of an Italian beach thrown in there, for some reason.) It's true, I'm obsessed. That's a very human trait.
2. I have not brushed my teeth today. They hurt a bit.
3. A song I don't particularly like (a political folkster with a thick English accent) has popped up on the iPod, and I am too lazy to change it.
4. I have reoccurring dreams of teeth falling out, actually. They are very disturbing.
   
5. Sometimes when I run out of clean underwear I just don't wear any, instead of doing laundry like normal people would.
6. I make it a habit to avoid the thesaurus, unless there's a word I already know on the tip of my tongue and I need some nudging in that direction.
7. I once wrote a story about an evil dictator who only cared about being able to floss his teeth in peace.
8. Led Zeppelin=sex, in my mind.
   
9. My dad can't leave the house without flossing his teeth.
10. I need to call Becky.
11. But first I'm gonna go brush my teeth.

So there you have it. Eleven facts that should prove to you I'm not cool, collected, witty, or particularly clever. I'm every bit as mundane as every other human on this planet.

I know, it's hard to remember that, but do make an effort, kay?